Dear friends,
I haven’t been paying attention to the specifics of the petty exchanges between Trump and Musk, two of the most “powerful” men on Earth, but this public feud confirms what many of us have known all along: patriarchy is collapsing spectacularly.
This system, where a few hold oppressive power, where life is not honored, where the individual is prized above the collective, was never built to last. It was only built to conquer.
The great irony of patriarchy is that its obsession with power and domination is precisely what makes it weak and fragile. If Trump and Musk, for example, were raised to listen with empathy or speak lovingly through conflict, their alliance would likely be unbreakable.
Beyond political spats, the institutions that uphold patriarchy—the state, the military, the police, marriage, and extractive capitalism—are increasingly unstable and unpopular. Systems that prioritize power over life are not the unbreakable bulwarks they pretend to be.
The old systems are collapsing, and we are now living at the threshold, because the new systems have not yet taken root. But as more people wake up to the reality of the collapse, new paradigms will be embraced more rapidly.
We can already see glimmers of a matriarchal future in the darkness: people turning toward the Earth, caring for each other outside of systems, and choosing to heal instead of repeat.
As people alive during this rebirth in human history, we are the ones responsible for defining the legacy of humanity on Earth. This moment between collapse and renewal asks: will we give in to fear and hopelessness, or will we take the waste material from this dreadful system and turn it into compost that will nourish the future?
I choose the latter, and if you’re reading this, I’m guessing you do too. The journey to matriarchy will require different offerings from each of us, and we cannot create it alone. But eventually, all of us will need to question what patriarchy has taught us.
One of the most destructive tools of patriarchal propaganda is teaching us it is “natural” to think in binary and linear ways.
Binary thinking imposes division. You are either one thing or another. Either a man or a woman. Either good or bad. Strong or weak. Right or wrong. This promotes a rigid worldview that normalizes hierarchy.
Linear thinking imposes a direction. Progress is measured by moving only “forward” toward a goal, which is usually domination. This logic of endless growth doesn’t leave room for failure or learning from mistakes. It doesn’t take into account the limits of the Earth or humans who need rest.
If we want to dismantle patriarchy, we have to align our worldview with nature again. To grow beyond the rigid perspectives of patriarchy, we need a shift in consciousness—from upward lines to evolving spirals, from rigid binaries to shifting cycles.
Instead of dividing people or labeling them, we can acknowledge that complexity is a fact of life, and that people can be multiple things at once, or change over time. Instead of measuring progress by how quickly things get bigger, we can strive for and celebrate wholeness and nourishment.
Though patriarchal logic infiltrates every aspect of our lives, the gender binary is where we can feel the distortions of this rigid worldview most intimately.
By dividing humans into two separate genders, patriarchy instills the logic of rigidity from birth, and at a deep psychic level. Men are severed from their softness and interdependence, women from their power and sovereignty, and everyone from fluidity, transformation, and self-definition.
By rethinking gender, we can create a new foundation that redefines everything—from work and identity to relationships and worth.
In a previous letter, I proposed rebalancing the gender binary by expanding womanhood beyond its collapsed, submissive role, and releasing masculinity from its inflated role of domination.
Naturally, I am always thinking about my own experience of womanhood under patriarchy. To break free of patriarchal definitions of “what a woman should be”, I have discovered an immense yet quiet power in aligning my idea of womanhood with the cycles of nature. When I opened my eyes, I could see clearly how the cycles of creation, destruction, and regeneration offered a rhythm that made sense of everything patriarchy told me was chaos.
I speak specifically about womanhood because it’s the experience I live and know intimately. Since being a woman is associated with weakness, and this is part of the logic of patriarchy, I hope to free other women to expand their self-definition and step into their power.
When we align our idea of womanhood with nature’s cycles, we step into another level of power where patriarchy has no sway. Rather than womanhood being simply everything a man is not, womanhood itself becomes a source of power.
By taking inspiration from nature’s cycles of creation, destruction, and regeneration, a much wider range of behaviors and roles becomes acceptable for women.
We make space to transcend motherhood as destiny and to become creators of culture and new paradigms.
We embrace rest, bleeding, and boundaries as legitimate forms of power, and we destroy old and oppressive structures by walking away.
We create space for healing what is left behind and allow new systems to regenerate from collapse.
This reframing of womanhood is not essentialist, but provides a framework for everyone socialized as a woman to embody power beyond the confines of patriarchy. A powerful definition of womanhood destabilizes patriarchy itself, which is essential to dismantling the gender binary. Under matriarchy, gender will be fluid, like nature.
The most powerful aspect of embracing a matriarchal journey is that the Earth already holds the answers. She is all around us. We don’t need to invent or create anything new. We need to reject the patriarchal lie that we are separate from and superior to nature. We need to remember that we are Her.
Like patriarchal institutions, patriarchal ways of thinking are not designed to hold us through these times of collapse. Patriarchy promises endless growth, but living systems are designed to break down. We are unprepared to deal with things falling apart, because we lack the wisdom and infrastructure to meet it.
Nature’s cycles can provide us with this infrastructure. Her cycles of creation, destruction, and regeneration are unfolding constantly all around and within us.
In this moment, we are being asked to unlearn the story of endless growth. To blur the lines that our society has told us were fixed. To find strength in rest, and discover wisdom in the dark. Nature already has all the answers we are searching for. All we need to do is observe and remember who we truly are.
Nature’s cycles provide both an internal and a cultural framework to dismantle patriarchy. Her wisdom encourages us to see the destruction and chaos of our times as a sign not to lose hope, but that something new has the potential of being born. If we are tuned in, we will see this as an opportunity to midwife our society’s rebirth.
With love,
Nergiz
Thank you for your patience while I wrote this letter. I’m a single mother, and I’ve been caring for my daughter full-time. I have finally secured some childcare so I can write more regularly. I love motherhood, but I also love this work. I am grateful to be able to develop and embrace all aspects of my identity, as all mothers should. The journey of creating a matriarchal world is underway, and I’m excited to co-create it with you. ❤️