Matriarchy begins when women stop enduring

From self-sacrifice to sovereignty.

New readers: Please begin with Matriarchy FAQs before continuing. This foundation will enrich your understanding of the essays that follow.

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In the journey to becoming the young matriarch I am today, I have had to go through a rite of passage. I have had to unlearn what patriarchal society told me being a woman means. I have had to step out of the role of self-sacrifice and quiet endurance thrust upon me since birth.

When I decided to dedicate myself to a matriarchal life and bring matriarchy into public consciousness, I never imagined how much my life would change. So far, the changes have mostly come through destruction—of my previous identity, my past relationships, and even the remnants of my childhood innocence. But much like destruction in nature, I can feel that this destruction was necessary for me to regenerate and fully embrace my identity as a matriarch.

The more I learn about matriarchy, the more I understand that it is not created by asking patriarchal systems and politics for concessions. It’s created in our everyday decisions—in how we show up in the world, how we choose to interact with nature, and in what we believe to be true about human nature itself.

When we choose matriarchy, when we practice matriarchal values in our lives, we must undergo a process of transformation. Almost every person alive is shaped by patriarchal values, so much so that most of us cannot imagine another social structure. That’s part of the power of patriarchy. If we can be convinced that male domination is inevitable, that hierarchy is natural, and that greed is human nature, then patriarchy continues.

Practicing the values of another social system entirely means unlearning everything this society has taught us. As a woman who has chosen a matriarchal path, I have chosen sovereignty over submission, boundaries over people-pleasing, and self-respect over self-sacrifice. And that is dangerous, especially to the people in my life who have fully internalized patriarchy.